dudehead's wanderings

I Can't Wait - It's Coming Soon...

2011-06-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

Dallas Willard on Grace and the Kingdom of God

2011-05-20T10:24:00.001-05:00

Man, I really like what he says here:

People are Awesome

2011-05-10T11:19:00.000-05:00

They really are:

The Existential Quiz - My Results

2011-04-25T21:53:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what to make of this, but when I took the quiz, this is what it said:

The Existential Quiz Your Result: You are Kierkegaard's KNIGHT OF FAITH! You are an existentialist at heart but still believe in a God. You realize that faith does not mean blindly going to church and following a couple of meaningless rules. Faith and life for you are both an arduous and private journey that requires a personal relationship with God. Talking about your faith is useless. No one will understand your conviction. You make your own path to faith and redemption. A true Christian existentialist!
You are Camus' ABSURD MAN!
You are Dostoevsky's UNDERGROUND MAN!
You are Nietzsche's UBERMAN!
The Existential Quiz Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Complicating God

2011-04-17T08:13:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I so over-complicate God and living fully.

This weekend I have been at a teaching on the Gospel of John by Dr. Ben Witherington. It has been a delightful event and I've learned a lot. God only knows how much I will retain.

But lately, it seems like I'm way over thinking God and spiritual matters. For instance, I've been really intrigued by two theological subjects (in addition to my recovery spirituality I live out in the rooms): the Gospel of John and atonement.

There is something about the Gospel of John that just keeps me coming back to it (kind of like AA). I love Chapter 13 and the acts of love and service Jesus demonstrated when washing his friends' feet, especially when he knew right at that moment that he was the all powerful Lord of Lords and King of Kings. That just blows me away thinking about it. What love, how giving can you possibly be?

And then atonement. I think the thing I don't get is the importance of justice to God, so much so that he requires a gruesome death of his son whom he loved so much, to reconcile us - who loves so much - back to Him. If He loves Jesus so much and loves us so much, why can't He just forgive and reconcile - amnesty, if you will? As you can see, I don't get it.

For a while when I thought about this it seemed to me that God, in requiring the death of Christ in ransom payment for our sins, was not forgiving because He was requiring payment: the death of Jesus. I thought grace and forgiveness were something given by the person doing the forgiving. For example, if someone owes me $100 and I forgive that debt, then inherent in my act of forgiveness, there is no payment to me - the debt is gone - it's a gift from me to the debtor.

But in the case of Jesus and his atoning death for my sins, God's holiness demand for justice in that reconciliation has a price: Jesus's death. A ransom is paid. That doesn't seem free to me.

How is that forgiveness?

Right now, the only explanation I have is two part: first, that is just the way it is - God is God and this is the way it was, is, and forever will be. The other is based on the trinity: God is bearing the cost of the forgiveness by His death on the cross. We are not paying anything, God is paying. God was on the cross in his son. We are not paying anything - He is. I'm slowly getting that. But still struggling.

So, my brain is fried on all that. God, I surrender my brain to you. I turn my will and my life over to you. Please relieve me of the bondage of me so that I may do your will and not mine.

I love you dearly.

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Do I Deny the Resurrection?

2011-04-13T22:58:00.001-05:00

These words are so powerful to me. They are not my words but those of Hugh Hollowell and Peter Rollins. I can add nothing…

Without equivocation or hesitation I fully and completely admit that I deny the resurrection of Christ. This is something that anyone who knows me could tell you, and I am not afraid to say it publicly, no matter what some people may think…

I deny the resurrection of Christ every time I do not serve at the feet of the oppressed, each day that I turn my back on the poor; I deny the resurrection of Christ when I close my ears to the cries of the downtrodden and lend my support to an unjust and corrupt system.

However there are moments when I affirm that resurrection, few and far between as they are. I affirm it when I stand up for those who are forced to live on their knees, when I speak for those who have had their tongues torn out, when I cry for those who have no more tears left to shed.

As you might expect, this does not calm the questioners down. They accuse me of not understanding the question. I understand the question perfectly well. I think they are the ones who do not know what they are asking.

So let me be even more clear:

The ancient story is that the most powerful government the world had ever known, Rome, had done the worst thing it could imagine to this man Jesus. They beat him and killed him by the most brutal means at their disposal. Yet and still, the last words on his lips are reported to be his asking God to forgive his killers. On that Friday, the powers of the world said “No” to Jesus and the Kingdom of God he was preaching. If the tomb was empty on that Sunday morning long ago, that was God’s “Yes” to Rome’s “No”. If the tomb was empty, then love overcame power and vindicated Jesus. It means that Jesus was right – the Kingdom of God is at hand, and we are invited to live in it.

If I swear allegiance to this Kingdom, where apparently the dream of God is that it be on Earth as it is in Heaven, then that has implications for how I live. If I pledge allegiance to the USA, it means I should not sell secrets to China. If I pledge allegiance to the Kingdom of God, then I cannot see how I can lend aid and support to the powers that oppose it, such as consumerism, militarism, class disparity and xenophobia.

If I act hateful, or in fact, less than loving to my neighbor, I have denied the resurrection just as surely as my selling state secrets to China denies my allegiance to the USA. I can wave a flag all day, but if I am acting against my country, you can hardly call me a patriot. And I can believe whatever you want about what happened that Sunday morning, but if I am not using what power I have to help God bring the Kingdom into fruition, to help make it on Earth as it is in Heaven, I don’t expect you to call me a Christian.

Makes Sense to Me

2011-04-03T21:29:00.000-05:00

The Heart Life

2011-03-27T05:58:00.001-05:00

Sunday, March 27, 2011

My devo was about the heart this morning. It basically said that God gives us a new heart when we invite Christ into our heart. And it is with this new heart that we live the free abundant life in connection with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and with ourselves and with our fellow man.

So, first we invite Christ into our heart and he does His thing: cleansing, purifying and sanctifying; then,

We do our part by:

Doing the next right thing and practicing living a life in ways that are opposite of the character defects that we identify in the fourth and tenth step (self examination); and by,

Getting right with others by making amends as directed in the eighth and ninth steps.

And then I live a tenth step life when I:

"watch over my heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23); and,

"listen, my son, and be wise, and direct my heart in the way of God (Proverbs 23:15), and

"fill my mind and meditate on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse (Philippians 4:8), which is,

more practice, and is,

living fully, resulting in

God's glory as man fully alive.

Amen.

Spring Break II

2011-03-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

Hamp and I had a good time chasing falls in Tennessee and winding up our jaunt in the Sipsey Wilderness. We started out freezing cold and ended soaking wet. All in all a great venture was had. I love being out and away with the bone just cruising, chatting, and not knowing what comes next.

We found Cummings Falls outside Cookeville, TN and it was beautiful:

Next, was Falls Creek Falls in middle TN and it was even more impressive (to me):

Last but not least, this is a short clip at East Bee Branch in the Sipsey Wilderness Area. We were camping at Ship Rock on the Thompson Creek trail section and had hiked about 4 miles from camp to here - the Bee Branch - the place with the giant poplar tree and great falls. I was a tad bit surprised there was not more water running in the falls but they were still beautiful and the water was plenty wet and cold.

What a beautiful creation You have have given. Thank You. I pray that I am a good steward of all You give.

First morning

2011-03-12T10:47:00.001-06:00

This is our first morning in a state park in TN. We got here late last night (typical) and had no idea where we were or what the place was like (like life if you think about it).

We both froze our butts off, me especially, in 30 degree weather and with a busted zipper on my bag and unable to zip it up. I think after 25 years I'll have to break down and get a new one.

It's kind of weird: seems like I've hit an age or point in my life where things are worn out and have to be replaced: car, sleeping bag, and perhaps most importantly, old ideas. As my friend Adele recently reminded me: it ain't an old idea if you're still thinking about it, and especially, if you're acting on it. She's a wise owl.

Here's the bone still snoozing away:

Another:

Yum, breakfast:

Now, it's time to cruise.

Thank you God for all my blessings you have given me. I pray strongly for the people of Japan and hope that good things can begin to come about there after that devastating tsunami.

I love you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Edgar Evins State Park Rd,Silver Point,United States

Spring Break 2011

2011-03-11T11:48:00.001-06:00

The beginning...

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I Love This

2011-03-01T22:06:00.003-06:00

The Gratitude Dance

2011-02-19T08:07:00.000-06:00

I love this:

A Self Centered View of the Steps

2011-02-18T23:57:00.000-06:00

Man I'm grateful for sponsors and folks with good sobriety sharing their simple experience, strength and hope.

Back to Basics: The 12 Steps in One Day

2011-02-11T23:17:00.001-06:00

What a day. What a week. I do feel like the blocks have been removed and we actually touched this week.

I have had a great day going through the Back to Basics 12 Steps in a Day.

And earlier this week when You revealed the source of my resentments and fears that go way back to when I was just four years old to the experience of going through the steps in one day. I definitely have had a spiritual experience this week; actually two.

Wow.

God. I am so grateful.

I pray that I will just love You, my family and friends, and others - especially those that are hard to love - and that I will live out that love by being of maximum service to you and the people about me.

I give all of me to you - good and bad - to take me and do with me what You will. I pray that You will remove from me all of my defects of character which stand in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out to do Your bidding. I love You so much.

thank you.

thank you.

thank you.

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Happy Birthday Bob

2011-02-08T22:37:00.000-06:00

Santa Jesus

2010-12-29T22:53:00.000-06:00

I'm shamed to say that, if truth be told, far too many of my Christmases were spent with this attitude.

Thanks David.

Jesus and the Nazi

2010-05-22T09:47:00.001-05:00

I love this picture but I’m not sure why.

Miss Your Church?

2010-05-02T21:56:00.001-05:00

I recently came across this question and simply pass it along:

If your church were to suddenly disappear from your community, would anyone other than its members miss it?

Our Heaven

2010-04-14T05:39:00.001-05:00

"God must take away the heaven we create or it will become our hell."
p. 100 of The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge

Wow. That is big. I have mixed feelings about that - to be honest.

God thwarts me in my pursuit of creating my own heaven because He loves me so much and knows that I would be digging my own hell. I really am created to be one in heart with God.

What a lover. What a hero.

I get it.

Thank you Lord.

I love you so much.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Another hint…

2010-04-07T22:21:00.001-05:00

Did I leave my heart in…

2010-04-07T22:15:00.001-05:00

Man I miss that place.

… you were doing it to Me

2010-03-28T21:21:00.001-05:00

Matthew 25:31-46 states:

The Final Judgment
³¹ “But when the Son of Man^[d] comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. ³² All the nations^[e] will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. ³⁶ I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
³⁷ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? ³⁹ When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
⁴⁰ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,^[f] you were doing it to me!’
⁴¹ “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.^[g] ⁴² For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. ⁴³ I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
⁴⁴ “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
⁴⁵ “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’
⁴⁶ “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”

The following was published in my church newsletter recently:

WHAT ARE WE TO DO WHEN TRANSIENTS APPEAR?
Occasionally, transients or others in need will stop by **Church seeking assistance. Often their need is real and legitimate. Our consistent response is to send them to **Community Center, which helps churches across the community with such requests. In limited circumstances, we may offer assistance directly from our office if we deem it appropriate.
However, what do we do when transients show up on Sunday [as they sometimes do]? Our policy is to ask the people to come back the next day and go to **Community Center. **Community Center is supported by **Church and is best-equipped to deal with such situations. But again, in limited cases with extreme circumstances, we may offer assistance as best we can.
It is important to remember the Biblical call to care for the poor and needy.However, we are also cautioned to be “wise as serpents and gentle as doves.” Sadly, many of those who appear at our doors on Sunday intentionally “target” churches on the Sabbath because they know church people are “vulnerable.” These individuals often move from church to church, and have well-rehearsed stories of a need that demands immediate attention [“I can’t wait until tomorrow…!”].
Here’s what we recommend you do if a transient person shows up on
Sunday:
• Direct them to one of the church staff
• If they are persistent, walk away immediately
• UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE CASH

Since Jesus tells us that whenever we “did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me,” I thought it would be interesting to substitute Jesus’ name for each reference to the people described in the newsletter. This is how that reads:

WHAT ARE WE TO DO WHEN JESUS APPEARS?
Occasionally, Jesus will stop by **Church seeking assistance. Often His need is real and legitimate. Our consistent response is to send Jesus to **Community Center, which helps churches across the community with such requests. In limited circumstances, we may offer assistance directly from our office if we deem it appropriate.
However, what do we do when Jesus shows up on Sunday [as He sometimes does]? Our policy is to ask Him to come back the next day and go to **Community Center. **Community Center is supported by **Church and is best-equipped to deal with such situations. But again, in limited cases with extreme circumstances, we may offer assistance as best we can.
It is important to remember the Biblical call to care for Jesus. However, we are also cautioned to be “wise as serpents and gentle as doves.” Sadly, Jesus may appear at our doors on Sunday and intentionally “target” churches on the Sabbath because He knows church people are “vulnerable.” Jesus often moves from church to church with well-rehearsed stories of a need that demands immediate attention [“I can’t wait until tomorrow…!”].
Here’s what we recommend you do if Jesus shows up on Sunday:
• Direct Jesus to one of the church staff
• If Jesus is persistent, walk away immediately
• UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE CASH

I know the Jesus I’m madly in love with does not want me to be like that.

I so want to live out His Words.

Father, I pray for the knowledge of your will for me and the willingness and power to carry it out.

When Kingdoms collide

2010-03-27T11:16:00.005-05:00

Lately I have become increasingly interested (again) in politics. When I was a teenager I was a page for our US Senator and got really interested in politics. However, as I grew older, the interest faded.

I wonder if I lost that interest years ago was because of the rank hypocrisy by which so many of us work and live, especially politicians – we say one thing and do another, ad nauseum. I wonder if that internal/external disconnect created (or touched) a subconscious fear in me that I just chose to avoid.

I don’t know. But as I continue my walk with Him in recovery, fears seem to slip away. Mind you, I still get scared from time in ordinary life – I certainly don’t want to get whacked by a semi while on the highway.

But since the fear of death, or perhaps the fear of what happens after death, has largely gone away, I wonder if this new freedom from fear has unearthed some old passions and desires that God long ago placed in my heart, one of which is politics.

Who knows. But I bet He will reveal that to me in His time.

I look forward to walking that with Him and finding out.

David and Goliath

2010-03-26T23:12:00.000-05:00

I love this pic from one of my favorite bloggers, David Hayward:

His blog - the nakedpastor is here: nakedpastor

Walk of Detachment

2010-02-28T22:28:00.000-06:00

A spiritual walk is a walk of detachment.

Life

2010-02-18T07:05:00.001-06:00

As described by John Eldredge in this morning's devotional:

February 18, 2010
Life at Last
Life is the offer, friends. Let us not forget that.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

This is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. (John 17:3 NLT)

There is no simpler or more beautiful way to say it than this: Act Four is the restoration of life as it was always meant to be.

It is the return of the beauty, the intimacy, and the adventure we were created to enjoy and have longed for every day of our lives. And yet, better, for it is immortal. We can never lose it again. It cannot be taken away. Sunrise and sunset tell the tale every day, remembering Eden’s glory, foretelling Eden’s return.

And what adventures shall unfold when we are given the kingdom that was always meant to be ours? Listen to this:

Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come,you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.” (Matt. 25:34, emphasis added)

Adam and Eve, and all their sons and daughters after them, were created to reign over the earth—to explore and discover and create and do all those things you see people do when they are at their very best.

That is our destiny.

(Epic , 92–94)

Man that is so good. God is good. I love being in love with Him. Thank you so much.

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God's workspace

2009-11-12T07:10:00.001-06:00

I came across this quote this morning, really liked it, and thought I would share:

"The discrepancy between who you are & who you want to be is God's favorite workspace. Let Him do His thing in u today."

Steven Furtick

I like that. May i live that today. Thank you Steven.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Burying my talents

2009-10-27T07:03:00.002-05:00

I need to quit burying my talents. I've come to realize that I bury my talents out of a fear of rejection, a fear of not being perfect, a fear of not getting your approval. So instead of stepping up to the plate and giving it a shot, I just refuse to step up to the plate - I bury my talents.

That is not living life fully as God intends and wishes for me, it is self centered protection of me, me, me - my ego kicking my ass. I've always been afraid of being hurt- physically or emotionally - a conflict avoider - a life avoider.

Fear, fear, fear.

God - i pray that you will remove my fear. I surrender and turn my will and my life over to your care. I pray that I know that in my surrender to you there is nothing to fear from my fellow man - that everything will come about in your plan.

I love you dearly.

A Birthday Wish

2009-10-21T23:22:00.004-05:00

Bone:

This is a devo I got a couple of weeks ago in my morning email from John Eldredge’s Ransomed Heart ministries. Please read it:

An Identity We Received
10/05/2009

Identity is not something that falls on us out of the sky. For better or for worse, identity is bestowed. We are who we are in relation to others. But far more important, we draw our identity from our impact on those others—if and how we affect them. We long to know that we make a difference in the lives of others, to know that we matter, that our presence cannot be replaced by a pet, a possession, or even another person. The awful burden of the false self is that it must be constantly maintained.

We think we have to keep doing something in order to be desirable. Once we find something that will bring us some attention, we have to keep it going or risk the loss of the attention.

And so we live with the fear of not being chosen and the burden of maintaining whatever it is about us that might get us noticed and the commitment never to be seen for who we really are. We develop a functional self-image, even if it is a negative one. The little boy paints his red wagon a speckled gray with whatever Father left in the can after putting a new coat on the backyard fence. “Look what I did!” he says, hoping for affirmation of the wonderful impact his presence has on the world. The angry father shames him: “What do you think you’re doing? You’ve ruined it.” The boy forms an identity: My impact is awful; I foul good things up. I am a fouler. And he forms a commitment never to be in a place where he can foul things up again. Years later, his colleagues wonder why he turned down an attractive promotion. The answer lies in his identity, an identity he received from the impact he had on the most important person in his world and his fear of ever being in such a place again.
(The Sacred Romance , 84,85 )
Ransomed Heart

------------------------------------------------------

I'm sorry that I have hurt you, especially when you were a young boy. I know I did things like what was described in the devo above and it grieves me that I hurt you like that. Those things I did were like arrows shot in your heart. It makes me sad thinking about it and writing this.

The even harder (and stranger) part is that I can't pull the arrows out of your heart so you can heal - even though I want to and am deeply sorry that I shot the arrows. I believe the only way of healing from those arrows is to invite Christ into those wounds. Not me, not anyone else: Christ.
One of the things I believe he will do is show you his wounds. By doing that he will give you a 3D, up close, and personal look at love and forgiveness. And that is how he will heal you: showing you His love and forgiveness.

You.

That is how he did it for me. He showed me his love for and forgiveness of me by showing me his wounds. And I’ve come to believe that the only way I can forgive those who have hurt me is by knowing in my heart the love and forgiveness that God has for me so that I can, in turn, forgive those who have hurt me.

You see, I now believe that our relationships with people are connected to our relationship with God: the better our relationship with God, the better our relationships with people. And I believe the converse is true: the more distant we are from God, then the more distant we are from people. And I think forgiveness is the essential ingredient in these relationships – as essential as the air we breathe to live.

Check out Matthew 5:

If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.

And Matthew 6: 14-15:

"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.

The kicker for me is the story in Matthew 18 when Peter and Jesus are talking:

²¹At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?"

²²Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.

^23-25"The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn't pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.

^26-27"The poor wretch threw himself at the king's feet and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt.

²⁸"The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, 'Pay up. Now!'

^29-31"The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' But he wouldn't do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king.

^32-35"The king summoned the man and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?' The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that's exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn't forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy."

The first servant didn't know the forgiveness given him because he couldn't in turn forgive the other servant who owed him. That is the forgiveness connection - and it's right in the Lord's Prayer too: "...forgive us of our trespasses (sins) as we forgive those who trespass (hurt) against us.

It's so connected. We forgive, and then, we know God's forgiveness; and then, we can forgive, and then we enjoy an intimacy with those we forgive.

I believe when I truly began to know the forgiveness of God through Christ, then I began to heal and really know God’s love for me. And when I began to really know His love and forgiveness, I began to then live in the nearness of the Kingdom of God that Christ so often talked about. And in that nearness wrapped in His love I experience a freedom and joy like I never knew was real.

And that is my greatest wish for you: the healing of the arrow wounds so that you know, live and breathe in the freedom and joy of God’s love for you – a love that He so desperately wants you to know in your heart.

I love you so dearly.

Papa

Do you love me?

2009-09-28T07:54:00.000-05:00

John 21: 15-21:

Do You Love Me?

15After breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"
"Yes, Master, you know I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

16He then asked a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

"Yes, Master, you know I love you."

Jesus said, "Shepherd my sheep."

17-19Then he said it a third time: "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was upset that he asked for the third time, "Do you love me?" so he answered, "Master, you know everything there is to know. You've got to know that I love you."

... And then he commanded, "Follow me."

Follow me. If you love me, follow me. So, if I don't follow you, does that mean that I don't love you?

LOVE DEMANDS ACTION! Without action, saying you love someone is a lie.

Humility

2009-09-27T20:51:00.000-05:00

Humility is facing and being willing to share things as they are in your own life-when you choose to-the happy, positive things as well as the pain and sin. The Secret Life of the Soul by Keith Miller.

My sponsor recently shared with me that humility is not having to be told to that you need to be put in your place.

So humility is knowing your place.

Humility is being right sized.

I like that.

Playing with Christ

2009-09-04T06:56:00.001-05:00

This morning as I meditated I had this very strong sense of my soul and Christ skipping around and playing together within me - just delighting in being together. What a joyful and rich experience it was.

Thank you - a whole bunch.

God is with us

2009-08-31T06:56:00.001-05:00

God is with us.

Be still and know that I am God and know that I am with you.

I need to know that badly right now.

Yahweh. I love you dearly.

Test post

2009-08-29T00:44:00.001-05:00

Just checking to see how posting from my phone works.

I want to see this movie

2009-06-07T21:43:00.000-05:00

Glory of God

2009-05-02T08:45:00.001-05:00

The Glory of God is Man fully alive. St Irenaeus.

This is one of my favorite quotes. What does it mean to be fully alive? Does it mean to be free of my ego and filled with His Spirit? Is it my ego at work that causes the resentments, fears, anger and discontentment in me? These are the things that block the sunlight of the Spirit.

What is my part in being fully alive? For me, is it practicing the principles of the 12 steps in all my affairs? I think so. I believe doing that helps me to understand how God wants to, and will, remove from me that which blocks me from Him. When I do my part, He is right there doing His, and, His Spirit is no longer blocked.

One “block” for me is anger. When I’m pissed off about something, I can pray as hard as I can and it seems like I’m banging my head against the wall – like God is a billions miles away. I like how Jesus described dealing with anger in Matthew 5:

^23-24"This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.

So, when I have some resentment or anger going on, before I can connect with God – before the sunlight of His Spirit is unblocked - I have to work a 10th step, perhaps make some amends, and be entirely ready and humbly ask God to remove that anger; then, I have done my part and God can and will remove that anger that blocked me from the sunlight of the Spirit of my Abba.

And His peace and serenity is there and my soul smiles in the reunion.

I hope you have a good day.

Broken Hearts

2009-04-25T20:21:00.001-05:00

I wish love was not so damn painful. But then it wouldn’t be love, huh.

I think my son’s heart is broken and I’m powerless to do anything about it. And that sucks.

Maybe I am to just be with him while he’s hurting – sharing a sort of a namaste nod and embrace with his soul.

Maybe.

Maybe our Creator really is the only person who can heal a broken heart.

I believe that.

And I believe that He wants us to do our part in that healing. Perhaps that is just sharing our more healthy heart with those whose hearts are broken.

Like my son’s.

I think that’s what I’ll do: just share my heart with him.

I hope it helps.

Praying the steps

2009-04-08T00:04:00.001-05:00

I prayed the steps this morning and it was good. The prayer was something like this:

Father, I am powerless over alcohol, people, places and things, my life is unmanageable. Slowly but surely I am coming to believe and have more faith that you could restore me to a man fully alive in whole relationship with myself, you and others. I have decided to turn my life and my will over to your care. I’ve searched myself and tried to identify things that are a part of my self will and selfish thinking and doing that block me from you. Please give me the courage to share these things with you and another person. I am as ready as I can be right now to have you remove these things and humbly ask you to remove them. Help me know who I have harmed and give me the courage to seek forgiveness and make an amend with each person that I hurt. Please continue to reveal to me and give me the courage to keep looking for my thoughts and actions that separate me from you and my fellows. I seek to know your will for me and the power to carry it out. And, I am grateful to be physically, mentally and spiritually sober and I pray that you give me the willingness and energy to share this message to others and to live life fully practicing these principles.

I love you dearly.

Amen.

My Cloud

2009-04-04T08:16:00.002-05:00

The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are helping clear my cloud of unknowing and for that I am very grateful.

That's my boy

2008-06-10T16:42:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T00:36:00.001-06:00

2007-07-04T23:03:00.001-05:00

For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also (Luke 12:34)

Where is my treasure? What do I spend the most time doing?

I work a lot.

I don't watch much TV.

I don't listen to music much, except in the car.

I exercise sporadically, depending on son's sports, AA, work.

I go to a lot of AA meetings. I love talking, sharing, and being in and around recovery. Being clean and sober is pretty cool.

I go to all of my son's baseball and football games. And lots of his practices, 7 on 7s, etc.

My wife and I don't go on many dates.

I pray daily throughout the day. Sometimes more than others.

I don't like to wear fancy clothes - I hate ties. Shorts and flip flops are just fine.

I love my old Landcruiser.

I spend regular quiet time with God in the mornings. But lately, my head has been anything but quiet.

I spend a good chunk of time on the interweb reading: MSU, SEC and high school sports boards, computer geek and hack sites, spirituality blogs.

So,

Where is my heart?

So I am...

2007-05-27T05:03:00.000-05:00

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern, You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

82%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

71%

Neo orthodox

61%

Classical Liberal

46%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

46%

Modern Liberal

43%

Roman Catholic

39%

Fundamentalist

32%

Reformed Evangelical

21%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Thanks for...

2005-12-15T23:42:00.000-06:00

the breath I just took...

the belief in my heart that You are always there...

listening to You today...

taking You into little things I did today...

my son...

my doll...

my dog...

another breath...

KISMIF

2005-10-06T21:31:00.000-05:00

I like simple. At least I think I do.

But if I do, I don't understand why I go and complicate things and fill up my day and my mind with ultimately meaningless activity and clutter. Why do I mark up the white space of my life and soul with things other than God and love?

I suppose it's the little dude in me that just keeps thinking that he is god and runs the show. I am grateful for the daily reminders that he is not. I am grateful for times when I clean house and make room for Him to do His thang in and with me.

I was reminded today to just stop, do nothing, and let Him do for me what I cannot and never will do for myself.

Keep It Simple Make It Fun

Hmmm...

2005-10-03T22:12:00.000-05:00

My sponsor died and I miss him.

Having someone with whom you can be absolutely and completely honest is a gift. A gift of love, patience, and perhaps grace - if we as people can actually give grace to others. For some reason it seems to me that only God can give grace. I suppose we can love and be kind to others in an undeserved fashion and that is like grace. But still, grace seems to me to be reserved for something of God. Maybe we should call it something else when we act with grace toward others.

I am not sure that it really matters.

Thank you for your grace like love and care Harry.

I'm Back

2004-08-02T16:45:00.000-05:00

Note: This was composed in August of 2004 - found it in "draft" mode...

*************

Not sure at this point what I want to do with this. We shall see. For now, just random thoughts.

I am very tired, tired as I have been since getting home from treatment. Yes, alcohol treatment for 3 months in Nashville Tennessee. What an experience. the most intense emotional and spiritual thing I have ever gone through. But I am now home again, back with the family and attending AA meetings on a regular basis.

I don't really miss alcohol. Thank God.

Every now and then my brain just seems to "zing" and "snap" - and I experience this brief split second departure - for lack of a better term. I am not on any meds so its not side effects from that. I am really notr sure what it is. Every now and then I will say something really weird - who knows what's happening.

In the beginning

2004-07-23T14:33:00.000-05:00

Hello. I'm new to this blog stuff. I suppose this will be a place to share about things in which I'm interested. What is that?

God

My wife and family

AA

My career

MSU sports (Mississippi State University)

Music - well, mainly the subdudes (hence the name). You can go check them out here: http://www.subdudes.com/

I hope you come back. You are welcome. Really.